


sleep;

by bloodynargles



Series: bloodwork of tragedy; [7]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, Gen, SO SORRY, im so so so so so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2056398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodynargles/pseuds/bloodynargles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've come to kill her, take her head back to the Director so he can have it on his wall. She just wants to sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sleep;

They get in at night, when Arizona's at her weakest, no armour and no disguise to hide behind. The wooden floor creaks and the matress the agent sleeps on vibrates as the footsteps come closer, she has her hands wrapped around her knife, but has a feeling it won't do any good. Not this time. They stop, the footsteps, and Arie breathes like she's sound asleep, like there isn't bile rising in her throat and a scared feeling flowing in her veins, almost making her shiver. She wants it to be North, or maybe Michigan - someone that would keep her safe, but she knows its not. They've come to kill her, take her head back to the Director so he can have it on his wall. She just wants to _sleep_.

 

Nu is quiet in her head, and Mu has actually turned himself off, for once - he's hiding behind the fear, Nu, its his trait, the part of the Alpha that was ripped away before they could get to the important stuff. The Alpha couldn't fear anything, not with what they were going to do to him to get the others. So out they pulled Nu, and within quick succession, Mu. Insanity would corrupt the Alpha, it would fester and spread to the other parts of him - they couldn't have that happen. So they put them into _her_. With all her new found confidence, she was so timid, back then - you could tell Mex was older, then - and even though she was tall people saw her as the younger one, they protected her. Then Freelancer started up and they asked specifically for her, she thought she was going to be _special_.

She thought alot of things, back then.

 

Right now she can't hear anyone breathing, beside herself and a part of her dies, a little. She knows how this is going to go down, she _knows_ she'll see Evangeline, soon. She knows she'll leave North behind - but he already thinks of her as a betrayal, and she could never see a life without him anyway. Just going on and on, killing people, going through the war like he never existed - just like she was doing with her memories of Mex. Avoiding them, holding them back, pushing them away... She _couldn't_ , not- not right now. Because she's still holding on to the fact that maybe her older sister is still alive, maybe not able to call, or radio her, but she can't just be _gone_ , right?

Right?

 

Are they thinking about how to kill her? How to make it the most painful, or off her quickly. She wanted to move, to tell them to just get it over with, because she just wanted it to _stop_. All the pain, the grief, the _guilt_ from walking away from her family, from _North_ , she just wanted it to end. She wanted the tears that were now making their path down her cheeks, the breaths tearing through her chest, over and over, she just wanted them to cease. Couldn't she at least have her dignity?

 

"I've come to talk."

"Why?" Her voice shakes, and she has to blink a couple of times before she can see in front of her. "Because he cares about you. Because as far as im aware, from the way he speaks about you.. He doesn't care about people in this way, often." She tries to control her breathing, pushing back the memories of North telling her he loved her, holding back the wail that threatened her voice. More tears spilling down her face. "He wouldn't care, if you killed me. I left him, because my sister had this _plan_. That if she ever died, that i was to get out of there as fast as i could, leave everything behind. Don't, _ever_ , look back." She gulps down air and stares off, past the wall, almost, for a little while. "I can't look back. If i do.." A sob shudders through her body, and Nu makes a scared noise, alerting Mu, and suddenly he's awake, trying to hold back the pain that was flooding through her, the memories of Mex, of North, of Beta Team. He can't stop it, and she sobs until she can't make a sound anymore, the only noise left in her body is a plead, a broken, hollowed out plead. "Please, kill me."

 

"No."

 

So she curls up into a fetal position and almost rocks, because the memories are too much - the laugh of Mex, the look on North's face when she'd told _him_ that she loved him. Of her mother crying when she sent them off to war. Her brother nodding when she'd told him that there was a possibility that she wouldn't be back, the sobs she could hear, passing his door later that day. Eva cuddling up to her and telling her that when they got there, they would get to be together - no school tearing them apart, nothing, they could be a _team_. The last memory of her mother calling her Ariette.. When it suddenly strikes her that North never knew her real name, a dry sob comes from her curled up shape, and she can hear Texas take a step closer.

 

"He does love you, Arizona. I can't say that he understands why you left, but, he still loves you." She can't bear to speak, doesn't think she remembers how to, or even has the voice - can only breathe shakily and tighten her grip on the matress below her. There's a soft ghost of fingers over her shoulder, and she almost shudders away, but if the agent was going to finally kill her.. Thank god. "I'm going to make you a deal, alright?" The pink haired closes her eyes in dispair, her mouth moving and no words coming from it. No, please. "Freelancer will call off the hunters, your life wont be in danger. I'll tell them that you beat me, that you won the fight. But.. come back, alright? Make North happy again, for the love of god. He needs you, no matter what he says, or how many times he tries to hide it when he looks for you. He _loves_ you, Arizona."

 

She doesn't hear Tex leave, and she doesn't know how long she stays curled up in that ball, but she falls asleep some time and when her eyes open there's light flooding the room and a little voice nudging at her head. "Time to move." Arizona blinks a few times, staring into space for a minute, letting herself settle, slightly. "Alright." Her hoarse voice hurts the back of her throat and her back complains as she sits up, serveying the room warily. Her armour sits close, and her knife is under the pillow, there's a stillness about the place she hates and she lets Mu gather her memories and put them behind a wall. Mex isn't coming back, and Texas might have been a dream - but North.. She had to make her way back to him, one way or another. At least to tell him her real name before he shot her down.

 

**Author's Note:**

> IM SO SORRY. I CRIED WRITING THIS. IVE BROKEN MYSELF AND ARIZONA IVE BROKEN EVERYTHING.


End file.
